Friday, December 18, 2009

Head Down Tilt: THE MOVIE


Holy casting call, Batman! So, an anonymous reader informs us that a feature film may soon be in the works about the NASA research studies.

And I guess nobody could think of a good vampire spin, because it's being produced by George Clooney. I can think of worse guys to handle this sort of story; he has a verifiable IQ, we already know he isn't averse to medical drama, and according to the early credits, he had the sense to employ one of the same writers who worked on The Right Stuff.

Of course, hundreds of movies are constantly "announced" or "rumored" that never see theatrical release, but hey –- you never know. Someone gave the green light to Police Academy 6, so anything is possible.

Head Down Tilt

Of course, the very premise is delusive, since astronauts (deceased or otherwise) aren't just hanging around the research wards -- and NASA does not and will never accept convicts into their research programs, due to the ongoing ethical debate as to whether such individuals can truly make "voluntary" choices to participate.

But of course, this is not REALITY, and we all love the "hubris arc" of anti-heroes who come to know the meaning of life through bonding while they redeem themselves. We just eat that up in the cinema. Every time. Especially when the main macho guy blows stuff up, reforms a misunderstood prostitute, or somehow learns how to take care of an infant along the way.

Here's what the movie may or may not include: oh, say... actual space science?

Head Down Tilt
Just producing? Or going head-down?

And of course, since this is Hollywood, there must be two mis-matched protagonists who end up all buddy-buddy when they save the world from a nuclear device, a harmless sidekick who actually turns out to be a double-crosser, at least one car chase, an increasingly self-aware computer that talks (but that can be hacked in fourteen keystrokes by the resident comic-relief nerd), a love-triangle on the side, kiss, kiss, explosion, explosion, kiss, roll credits.

What, too formula?

Still better than vampires.