Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dancing On The Fringe


This tin foil hat dance just gets better and better! First, I found an MIT study showing that tinfoil hats actually amplify rather than block signals conspiracy theorists think they need to protect themselves from. Next, some tinfoil hat enthusiasts attacked me in the Comments section of my blog, accusing me of being narrow-minded about government and/or alien threats.

Through it all, I surmised in writing that other products would be forthcoming, and it turns out I am way behind the curve.

Thought Prevention Helmet
Michael Menkin, inventor of the Thought Screen Helmet, shares his expertise on how to Stop Alien Abductions. I found his website last night, and still haven’t decided if I just had too much to drink –- or not nearly enough.

A member of the Mutual UFO Network, he's taken it upon himself to compile lists of alien tendencies and weaknesses, as well as how they cannot read your thoughts if you always have your anti-telepathy helmet handy!

The thought screen helmet scrambles telepathic communication between aliens and humans. Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens, nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using telepathy. When aliens can't control humans to render them passive, they generally cease to abduct them.

The magic ingredient in the defensive strategy is Velostat, a substance imbued with carbon to make it conductive (often used for the protection of devices that are prone to damage from electrostatic discharge). Menkin provides helpful lists of velostat providers, necessary tools, and step-by-step instructions for making your own Thought Screen Helmet.

Alien Abductee Helmet
Michael Menken also offers tips for proper grounding and regular safe use, but nonetheless warns us to Prepare For A Fight:

Aliens will try to stop you from wearing the helmet both mentally and physically. Before you make one they may try to influence you that you don’t need one. Once you start wearing a helmet they may harass you or perhaps threaten to kill a pet in retaliation. They are good at manipulating your spouse to have a conflict with you about wearing the helmet. If you forget to wear it one time they may physically hurt you.

Well, we wouldn't want that.

Vulcan Mind Meld
See, if only he'd had his Thought Helmet...

I'm so happy I found this site before Christmas, because this has to be the ultimate space-buff arts & crafts idea.

So, thank you, Michael! Give our regards to Mulder & Scully.

I contacted the scientists at MIT who did the tinfoil study, and asked them to conduct a follow-up comparison study. Watch this space.


Mrs. L said...

But what if I WANT the aliens to read my thoughts? Hmmm???

PillowNaut said...

OMG... I never even thought of that!! So, you're interested in teaching the aliens how to cook, then? I think we've just hit upon the best cooking show idea ever...

Norman Copeland. said...

From the moment you were born the ''footsteps'' prayer is appropriate. Bigger people stand behind you and the wrath you think possible in the waters of truth.

Hello pillownaut, god says hello...