No Space For You!

In the "Rant" section of always-entertaining IO9, writer Charlie Anders recently expounded upon "Why We Need More Space Adventures", because the fall season of 2011 is the first time there is no show featuring space travelers since the "V" and "TNG" gap in the 1980s.

Anders serves as a fine social essayist in the "Space Opera" campaign, listing all the reasons audiences love stories on spaceships, whether self-congratulatory about human-invented technology (notice even when it is inferior, we still triumph over hostile aliens) or simply employing the tragic, damaged-goods, shirt-ripping hot shot who can wage war and woo women with equal charisma.


He includes in his list the "exploring strange new worlds" angle – certainly a huge part of sci-fi in terms of imagining what might be different on another planet or in another galaxy. We humans also explore what WE FEAR in these scenarios. The villains can often be as telling as the heroes.

However, my fear now is that we have contracted inward, entertaining only the petty politics and crime of Planet Earth, and we no longer think we're going out into the stars. Anders goes on to insist that fantasy won't cut it, neither will apocalypses or time-travel. What we lack suddenly is exploration. Pioneering. Have we lost even the desire for these things?

Our lives are reflected in our art, and perhaps his most chilling commentary on the state of our space dreams is: "…the Baby Boomers who propelled the Space Age are reaching retirement, now helping to propel the Debt Age."

Perhaps too apt a metaphor

Anders challenges: "What comes first: an excitement about real-life space exploration, or a renewal of fictional space adventure? Could new shows about the wonders of space travel get people jazzed about going to Mars, or do we have to wait for NASA to launch a Mars mission before people will be interested again?"

A fine question. I could sit here and describe about a thousand books that remain unscripted, untapped, alone in all their space glory that will never see the screen. I could.

But I'm still trying to get over the cancellation of the last Star Trek series. Not that I watch much television anyway, but it's a sad commentary on how reality shows, chaotic kitchens, and "Corpse TV" have taken over. How many serial-killer-chasing dramas can people handle? Far too many, apparently. I find forensics and crime-solving as fascinating as the next person, but can't we do them in space, too?

That's what we need -- Law and Order: Lunar Crime Unit.

And no, we won't settle for animation

Well, someone tell Charlie that on the heels of this dilemma, NASA reports they hope to revive "hard sci-fi" to inspire future space forces. They're planning an initiative to promote accurate space science and science fiction novels to inspire young readers to embrace technology that makes space travel possible.

The hope is that someday, armed with mission details and the science that made them possible, they will aspire to become part of the space industry. At the very least, let's hope we spawn at least one hopeful candidate to take over FOX and quit cancelling everything cool.

N =

Oh but I am all a-tickle with merriment. Seems I've managed to peeve the tin foil hat contingent in at least one state, resulting in some not-quite-rated-PG-13 comments. As funny as I find this, I remove rudeness as a rule, and please remember I have some great parents as regulars who read this blog with their children, and I like to keep things family-friendly.

My email address is on my profile page if you have something to say; the people who blast me for putting Pluto at the kiddie table use this method, and so can you tin-foilers. Unless the government mind-control hum told you otherwise today.

Gandalf says Deal With It

So, hey. I'm not running for Congress, I have no television anchor job to lose by telling it like it is; I'm just plankton with a fancy typewriter, and I don't care if you don't like my personal opinions. One hopes that you have better things to do than obsess over anything written on my blog. (But then again... I don't.)

Without mentioning any names or particular battles, I'll just pick a general point of contention out of the ether and say: Yes, I do support SETI, and no, I don't think what they do is laughable or useless.

In some of my previous posts, I've acknowledged merely the supreme improbability of contacting another civilization like our own in real-time, given the realities of distance in our greater cosmos. I believe we are more likely to find archaeological remains of another life form, and the same applies to Earth in return. If you want to use this benign stance as a reason to bash me or assume that I am down on SETI, go right ahead. Just don't get Stephen Hawking started.

I've never disagreed with keeping a candle in the window during the storm. I'm quite relieved that donations helped SETI back on their feet recently, and they will be able to resume operations.

Believe me, the people who work for SETI know things you don't. They know things I don't. They for-darned-sure know the Drake Equation, and I'd suggest everyone at least have a look at it before assuming that movies like "Men In Black" or "Independence Day" could just happen at any moment. You know who you are.


Named for and by astro-physicist Dr. Frank D. Drake, the equation is the best guess to estimate N, the number of advanced civilizations in the Milky Way. That would be the rotating spiral galaxy about 100,000 light years across, containing more a hundred billion stars!

What does N equal? According to Drake, the average of the most educated estimates would suggest there might be about 10,000 technically advanced planets.

That number may change. In fact, that number certainly will change. As it does so, the smartest thing we can do is ignore Hollywood and realistically explore how probably those worlds are, and under what conditions they might exist. See also: Kepler Mission and the search for habitable planets.

Pizzeria Luna

This is almost better than tin foil hats amplifying secret government frequencies. Almost.

It seems that Domino's Pizza representatives in Japan say they believe many people will be living and working on the moon in the future, enough so that they are already planning a Domino's Pizzeria restaurant to service the demands of would-be Lunar citizens.

While Domino's affiliate in the Land of the Rising Sun have no vehicle designed to land on the moon, and no one has any current way of sustaining life there, they have nonetheless developed a budget and virtual blueprints.


Estimating that it will require about $20 billion to build, their long-term intent is to transport 70 tons of building materials and pizza fixings over the course of 15 rockets launches.

What rockets, you ask? Well, yeah. That is some lofty chutzpah right there. They may be -- excuse the pun -- asking for the moon.

I figured humanity might consider the ins and outs of general life support on the moon before we start planning our junk food binges, but far be it from me to rain on their parade. Seems they still have pizza-delivery envy over Pizza Hut staging a PR stunt on the International Space Station back in 2001.

Already recruiting delivery personnel?

I think the "Death and Taxes" magazine summed it up best: "A Domino's spokesman stated that they started thinking of the idea over year ago. She did not comment on whether or not they were stoned."

I know I've been something of a skeptic this month, and more than a little snarky about the end of manned spaceflight in America, but space humor doesn't always provide a good substitute for HOPE. But hey. Who knows? Maybe someday the moon really will come with (extra) cheese.

If you have a strong stomach, you can check out the cheesy, publicity-stunt video about the Moon Branch Project on the Domino's .JP website.

Mars500 Breaks Another Record

Aside from being the largest and most complex simulation ever conducted by space agencies, the Mars500 just broke a record for the longest time a crew has ever spent in isolation. Some papers reported it as the "longest mission but without leaving Earth" – but that's rather a dodge that doesn't give enough credence to their amazing scientific trials, in my humble opinion.

The six men certainly have some iron determination, and none have opted to leave the 520-day simulation of a journey to Mars and back – call it vested interests between the Russian, Chinese and European space agencies.


They've landed on Mars to collect rocks, had some emergencies and stumbles along the way, they've celebrated one year in space, and occasionally they've gotten a little punchy in isolation. Okay, a lot punchy.

And now, the guys are in the home stretch... less than 100 days to go! Today is day #456, so they have just passed the 85% mark. On day 438, they were congratulated by Russian Cosmonaut Valery Polyakov, who holds the record for the longest space mission in history, having worked aboard Mir for 437 days.

Technically, he still holds the record for a real mission, but good-naturedly acknowledged the Mars500 for their "spaceflight" surpassing his in simulation. According to Polyakov's video message, it is tradition for Cosmonauts to congratulate their record-breakers.


Communications delays are dwindling as they grow closer to Earth, and many of their missives to the people sending them messages have a "counting down" mentality. Signs of fatigue? Not obvious, from their twitter feeds, but being human and all, I am sure they have their good days and bad.

The doctors who are monitoring their psychological and physical health have said that the monotony of their routine often affects them, but so far none of them has considered leaving isolation. They are always very aware of how their experiment sheds light on long-duration missions.

I'm looking forward to their landing on November 5th of this year! It will be so cool to watch them open the hatch, pop the champagne corks and ask the crew what they will do first, once they are free! To which I am sure the reply will be…

"When do I get my money?!"